Etiquette: What To Do When Meeting A Famous Drummer

Pass the port to the left, eat asparagus with your fingers.
Use the butter knife to get the butter to your side plate. Then spread it using your own knife.
Endeavour to avoid stupefying, poleaxing  flatulence when meeting royalty.
You know the score.
Which glass, which knife and fork?
When in Rome etc etc.
At the dinner table in China nobody takes a drink until everyone has a full glass (after which it's every man for himself but that's a different matter!)

Sometimes etiquette can be a minefield, but if you just keep an eye on what other people are doing should you find yourself in an unfamiliar social circumstance then the chances of coming unstuck can be minimised.

However, of far greater relevance and interest to regular readers of this blog is a brief but hopefully helpful guide to recognised protocols should you meet a well-known drummer you admire as you go about your daily business.

It's easy to become a tiny bit awestruck when someone you have seen in a magazine, on TV, online, on social media or at a live performance is suddenly there in front of you, large as life.
Imagine what you might do or say if you were to bump into Steve White doing his shopping in Morrison's, Ash Soan in the queue at the petrol station, or perhaps former Clash sticksman Topper Headon enjoying a day out at Chessington World of Adventures.

Famous drummers; they're just like you really.
Real people in other words.
Here then are a few simple dos and don'ts which hopefully you will find useful.

Just be yourself.
Don't point and go "a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a" if you find yourself lost for words.
Don't say "Do you remember me?" or "I bet you don't remember me", that conjures up images of the old joke about the Siamese twins, one of whom used to play the trombone.
Ask questions about playing. It's fine.
Ask questions about equipment, that's fine too.
Don't say anything along the lines of "Do you know who my favourite drummer is?" Professional drummers in many cases sight read, we don't mind read.
Take selfies. that's good too. Certain players made need a moment to adjust their hair, for many others however this is unnecessary.
Don't give them your 'publicity package', ask them if they'd like to watch a video of your playing or to give you industry contact details in the hope of getting endorsements.

Don't ask them to buy you a beer. Just because a drummer is in the public eye it does not mean they are on the rich list, and this brings with another set of considerations.
If they are rock drummers they probably have much, much more money than you.
Jazz drummers on the other hand might view your kid's piggy bank with envy.
If you are extremely wealthy the popular drummer will not feel ashamed should you feel inclined to offer to finance their upcoming project be it a recording, tour, educational product or whatever. You can offset it against tax as well. Should you feel moved by such philanthropic urges a word of caution. Get everything in writing as there are one or two unscrupulous characters who might use your generous donation to help support the GDP of certain Central American republics.

Returning to the subject of adult beverages or cold drinks it is absolutely fine to offer to purchase same for well-known drummers. This never causes offence or gets taken the wrong way. Fact.

I've said before that the main difference between rock and jazz drummers is that rock drummers have roadies waiting to take their drums away after the gig.
Jazz drummers have debt collectors.

But I digress.

The oft repeated received wisdom is that you should never meet your heroes as they can disappoint you in real life.

Over the years I have met all kinds of drummers, some were people I admire tremendously and actively sought out, others I bumped into in the line of work.
Here are a few thumbnail  reminiscences;

Louie Bellson, complete and utter prince of a man, would do anything for you; humble, generous with his encouragement and an ego free zone.

Buddy Rich, complicated, sometimes charming, other times prickly. Totally unpredictable. It often felt as though a storm might kick off at any time, just like his playing.

Kenny Clare, the first famous drummer I ever met. Like so many noted players very generous with his knowledge, encouraging to a (then) young player hoping to make his way in the world.

Mel Lewis, dry, funny, no bullshit. Told it as he saw it and didn't sugarcoat anything. The first time I met Mel was at a summer NAMM show in New Orleans in 1985. Istanbul cymbals had just launched and Mel was one of the key artists. Jack DeJohnette was also on the stand and drawing a big crowd. Mel was quietly in the corner minding his own business so I sat and talked to him. When I asked to take his picture he began playing the ride cymbal. I learned more about the ride pattern in the ensuing five minutes or so than I had assimilated in the preceding 22 years. Thanks Mel.

Steve Gadd, (see Bellson, Louie).

Billy Higgins, stoned. Played great nevertheless.

Ed Shaughnessy, disappointing. Very offhand and unfriendly, maybe I caught him on a bad day. Nevertheless I think no less of his fabulous artistry on the drums.

Mitch Mitchell, the greatest drummer the world has ever seen. I know this because he told me so himself. Rude, condescending and the classic example of how not to deal with people. Shame, I had some respect for one or two of the things he had done as a player but such as it was evaporated in a split second.  Thanks for the free lesson in people skills.

Ed Thigpen, the perfect gentleman who was as immaculate a human being as he was a drummer, especially with a brush in either hand.

Ian Paice (see Bellson, Louie and Gadd, Steve). Paicey told a sold out concert hall that I was the closest thing to Buddy he had ever heard. That meant a huge amount and came at a time when I was very much a new (albeit 44 year old) face on the British drum scene. For someone so revered in the drum world to say something like that about another player who was not at all known at the time is one of the best lessons in generosity of spirit that I have ever learned.

In conclusion two very old sayings;

'It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice'.
To have any sort of acclaim or public profile as a player is a privilege, and it's good to remember the people who support you and put you there in the first place.

'Be nice to the people you meet on the way up because you'll meet them again on the way down'.
So true, but if you play well enough that people cannot possibly ignore you, and treat people as you yourself would wish to be treated there's always a chance that you'll stay at the top forever!

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